Maintaining Positivity Through Hard Times

A practical resource for sustaining hope, meaning, and wellbeing during difficulty

Important note
This resource and the accompanying worksheet are educational tools, not replacements for professional mental health support. Maintaining positivity does not mean facing hardship alone. Seeking support during difficult times is a sign of strength.

Introduction: Why This Matters

Hard times are an unavoidable part of life. Loss, uncertainty, stress, illness, relationship challenges, and unexpected change can affect anyone — often without warning.

During difficult periods, people are sometimes told to “stay positive” or “look on the bright side.” While well-intended, this advice can feel invalidating or unrealistic when life genuinely hurts.

This resource takes a different approach.

Maintaining positivity during hard times does not mean:

• Ignoring pain
• Forcing optimism
• Pretending everything is okay

Instead, it means learning how to stay emotionally grounded, connected, and meaning-focused, even when circumstances are challenging.

What Does Positivity Really Mean?

Healthy positivity is not about constant happiness.

It is about:

• Maintaining perspective
• Holding hope alongside difficulty
• Staying connected to what matters
• Responding with intention rather than despair

Positivity is not the absence of struggle — it is the presence of meaning, values, and support within struggle.

Why Hard Times Disrupt Positivity

When life becomes difficult, the nervous system often shifts into survival mode.

This can lead to:

• Narrowed focus on problems or threats
• Reduced energy and motivation
• Increased negative thinking
• Withdrawal from others

These responses are normal and protective, but they can make it harder to access hope or perspective without support.

The Role of Meaning, Values, and Purpose

People who maintain a sense of meaning during hardship tend to cope more effectively.

Meaning provides:

• A reason to keep going
• A sense that suffering is not pointless
• Perspective beyond immediate discomfort

Values act as anchors. When life feels out of control, values remind us who we want to be, even when we cannot control outcomes.

Connection as a Protective Factor

Connection is one of the strongest buffers against despair.

Connection may include:

• Relationships with trusted people
• Feeling part of a community
• Spiritual or philosophical connection
• Connection to nature, creativity, or service

Hard times often isolate people — yet isolation increases suffering. Maintaining or rebuilding connection is a powerful form of resilience.

Positivity Without Denial

True positivity allows space for:

• Grief
• Fear
• Frustration
• Uncertainty

Suppressing emotions often increases distress. A healthier approach is:

“This is hard — and I can still find moments of steadiness, meaning, or hope.”

Both truths can coexist.

Practical Tools for Maintaining Positivity

Positivity during hard times is supported through small, intentional practices, not mindset pressure.

Helpful tools include:

Perspective-Shifting

• Asking: “What is still within my control?”
• Zooming out to see the bigger picture
• Remembering past resilience

Values-Based Action

• Choosing behaviours aligned with values, even in small ways
• Acting with kindness, integrity, or courage despite difficulty

Connection Practices

• Reaching out to safe people
• Accepting help rather than withdrawing
• Maintaining simple shared routines

Mental Focus Tools

• Limiting rumination and catastrophic thinking
• Redirecting attention to what is stable or supportive
• Practising gratitude gently (without forcing positivity)

Physical Foundations

• Prioritising rest and hydration
• Maintaining basic movement
• Supporting the nervous system through routine

Small actions create emotional stability over time.

Hope as a Skill

Hope is not blind optimism. It is the belief that:

• This moment is not permanent
• Support is available
• Change is possible, even if slow

Hope can be strengthened through repetition, support, and meaning.

When Positivity Feels Out of Reach

There may be times when positivity feels impossible.

This does not mean you are failing. It may mean:

• You are overwhelmed
• You need more support
• Rest is required before perspective returns

At these times, the most positive act may be self-compassion and reaching out.

How This Supports Long-Term Wellbeing

Maintaining positivity through hardship:

• Reduces emotional exhaustion
• Supports mental resilience
• Strengthens identity and values
• Encourages adaptive coping
• Protects long-term mental health

Positivity is not about avoiding pain — it is about moving through pain with care.

How to Use the Worksheets

The accompanying worksheet is designed to:

• Support learning through reflection
• Reinforce meaning, values, and connection
• Encourage practical tools without pressure
• Help identify personal anchors during difficulty

You may complete it slowly or revisit it during challenging periods.

A Final Note

You do not need to feel positive all the time to live well.

You only need:

• Meaning to lean on
• People to connect with
• Values to guide you
• Compassion for yourself along the way

Hard times do not erase who you are —
they often reveal what matters most.

 

How to Access Further Support in New Zealand:

• Contact your local GP

• Dial 111 for immediate support

 • Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor

• Lifeline – 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP)

• Youth line – free text 234, call 0800 376 633, webchat at youthline.co.nz, DM on Instagram @youthlinenz, message on Whats App 09 886 56 96.

• Samaritans – 0800 726 666

• Suicide Crisis Helpline – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)

• Depression Helpline – 0800 111 757 or free text 4202 To talk to a trained counsellor about how you are feeling or to ask any questions

• Anxiety NZ – 0800 269 4389 (0800 ANXIETY)